The “good-girls-love-bad-boys” theory has been a topic of intense conversation for years. I don’t think there is any right or wrong answer when it comes to who we love but there are some interesting theories that may help us understand why! I have come up with some personal conclusions that may give some insight on…
Why do we fall in love with bad boys?
*He gives you that toxic love*…The underlying, borderline-masochistic factor brewing inside us. An ironic connection between pain and love, where love has a dominating and toxic power that allows you to love him even when you hate him. The sense that you and him have something real because no matter what or who gets in the way you’re always there and he always comes back. You have that crazy, stupid, Rhianna & Chris Brown love that no one understands and that only comes once in a lifetime. He’s the only one that can make you feel that way and it doesn’t matter what others think ’cause “it ain’t nobody bizness”.
*He’s your daddy/knight in shining armor*…The internal yearning for nurture. We are built with the want/need to be taken care of by another being that we perceive to be stronger and more powerful. That can defend you against the world physically, financially, mentally without fear. That will fight your battles and never leave you stranded not only because he loves you but because his male DNA is built to provide and protect. Because it feeds his ego and gives him the added value of knowing that he is needed. In turn this makes you feel like you’re “different” you’re not like all the other women he is with or has been with.
*He is your project*…You want to fix what you feel is broken. Taking on the risk and the challenge of defeating the odds and doing what others say you cannot do. Breaking down that male ego and gaining the power over him is your objective and you won’t stop until you get there. The thrill of being with someone that others perceive as unfixable and knowing in your soul that you’re the one who can get through to him, is bliss! The sense of pride and accomplishment you get when you finally tap into his embedded weakness and temporarily see what he hides from the world is worth every heartache he caused.
I leave you with this quote from Rhianna in the new issue of Rolling Stone Magazine (in stores this Friday) “I decided it was more important for me to be happy, I wasn’t going to let anybody’s opinion get in the way of that. Even if it’s a mistake, it’s my mistake. After being tormented for so many years, being angry and dark, I’d rather just live my truth and take the backlash. I can handle it.”
Ladies, lets be #REAL: Live in your truth!
These are all great point Ory! Hahaha reminiscent of out girl talks! Always #REAL. “I love powerful dudes, that’s my f*ckin problem!”
Lmao! Yes our infamous girl talks! That’s my #REAL f-in problem lol.
Interesting words. All well put. It says alot about the human psyche. I think that #3 makes the most sense. Even from a guy’s perspective, we try to tackle the “projects” that tend to have a repelling force against us.
Thanks Ed! Always great to hear a guy’s perspective, yes #3 is the one that most men can relate to on an equal level.
very interesting points of view for men and women…all 3 points are valid in every relationship…”his male DNA is build to provide and protect”.
Thanks Eb, I think at some point we have all fit into one or all three of these theories. I know I have!
Love this ! I have fit into all three . Which is why I understand the whole Rihanna and Chris Brown thing !